Remember
by sg4ever
Summary: what happens when the one you love can't remember you?
1. Chapter 1

**The idea for this fic came to me a few days ago while I was in the bus, heading to school and I involuntarily heard two lyrics of a song. Just two lyrics and I already had half of the story inside my head. So I just had to write it down. I think it will be just a two-chapters story but I hope you'll enjoy it.**

**Let me know what you think of it :D**

* * *

Somebody was knocking at the door. Helen waited for one of the children to go and open it but the Sanctuary seemed to have remained empty. Not even BigGuy was around. Then she remembered. They were all gone to relocate some of the residents to the London and Paris Sanctuaries. She had remained home hoping she could take advantage of the situation and put some order into her files and research.

It had been an exhausting afternoon reading through all the former patients' files and now she was finally enjoying a short break drinking a cup of tea when someone knocked on the door.

Curiosity won over her exhaustion in the end so she got up and headed to the door. As she opened it a strange sight appeared in front of her eyes. At first it would've seemed to be just an ordinary homeless man who had been rambling through the city the whole day and now he needed a place to sleep. But then again, nobody could reach the Sanctuary building unless he had an access code. The homeless man was wearing some very old clothes covered with mud. His face was dirty and his beard unshaved but as Helen raised her gaze and looked into his eyes, her heart flinched. For there was no way she could ever forget those eyes.

"Nikola, my God! What are you doing here?" She asked with astonishment.

He looked at her as if struggling to find a proper answer but all he said was "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Helen asked raising an eyebrow. "Why did you come here? And what in God's name are you wearing?"

"I don't…" He struggled to reply, "I don't remember."

Then in a moment his sight became blurry and he collapsed to the ground.

~~~Three hours later~~~

He opened his eyes not knowing where he was. His gaze surrounded the chamber and stopped on the woman who had fallen asleep on the edge of his bed. The same woman who had opened the door for him. The sight of her made something move within him. But there would pass quite some time until he would be able to fully understand that involuntary reaction.

He took a moment to realize where he was. It seemed to be a hospital but then was he the only patient? He tried to get up from the bed but the movement made the woman wake up.

"Nikola! You are awake!" She exclaimed with joy in her voice. "You scared me earlier."

"I'm sorry." He answered. "That was not my intention."

Helen gazed him surprised by his answer. She was expecting everything but an apologize coming from Nikola.

"Are you alright?" She asked carefully. "What happened earlier?"

"I don't know." He answered.

"Are you avoiding my question?" She asked trying to figure out whatever game Nikola was playing this time. "You collapsed on the ground! At my door! I think I deserve some explanations!"

"Listen… doctor!" He started. "I appreciate your concern and the fact that you took care of me but I have already told you I have no idea what happened. I don't know why I came here! I don't even know if you really are a doctor. I don't remember!"

Helen shook her head in disbelief.

"Are you saying you don't know where you are or what is this place? Nikola, do you recognize me?" She asked.

"Should I?" He replied.

A lonely tear threatened to spill from Helen's eyes but she managed to keep her calm in front of this strange situation.

"What is that you remember of your life so far?" She asked.

"Not much. It feels like walking in the fog. I can't see more than three steps behind me. Now and then I catch a glimpse of a shape with the corner of the eye but when I turn around to see it more clearly it's already long gone. Sometimes flashbacks roll in front of my eyes for a fraction of second. I see faces, I hear names and I know they used to mean something to me but I just can't decipher their meaning anymore."

"Do you remember your name?"

"Nikola." He answered. "You called me Nikola so I'm guessing this has to be my name."

A long sigh left her chest. She was standing face to face with nothing more than a ghost of her friend. How was that possible? Why was Nikola suffering from amnesia? What was to do to give his memories back? Endless questions invaded her mind but the doctor within her knew she should handle this situation carefully.

"Nikola," she started, "it would appear you suffer from amnesia. I am hoping it's only temporary but I have to run some tests and check some analysis to be sure. I'm going to need some blood samples and I hope I can count on your cooperation."

He nodded.

"Also, I will bring you a notebook and I want you to write down everything you can remember, all the flashbacks. Just like a diary. It will help you settle your thoughts." She smiled softly.

"And don't worry." Helen said taking his hand into hers. "You have come to the right place. I will do everything I can to help you." She game him a reassuring smile.

He smiled back gently squeezing her hand. Although he could not remember this woman who seemed to know so much, touching the soft skin of her hand made his pulse accelerate. It felt so right that he soon found himself rubbing her long delicate fingers.

She noticed a few moments later and gently pulled her hand out of his warm grip.

"Well then…" She started. "I'll go to make the preparations for the blood analysis. If you need anything just push this button over here. And try to get some rest. We'll have another chat later."

Nikola nodded again. As she turned around to leave, he said,

"Wait! You haven't even told me your name!"

"Helen." She almost whispered.

"Helen. You have a very beautiful name." He said and smiled.

She smiled back and then walked out of the room. Closing the door behind her, Helen leaned her back against it and started crying in silence, a river of tears overflowing her face. What had happened to _her_ Nikola?

Half an hour later, she entered the room again to get a blood sample for Nikola. He greeted her with a smile.

"Helen Magnus." He said.

"What did you say?" She asked surprised.

"Your name. It's Helen Magnus isn't it?"

"Yes. How did you – "

"I don't know." He answered quickly. "I remembered. It feels so natural saying your name out loud as if we'd know each other for years."

She blushed and said,

"We do."

Helen sat on the edge of the bed and gently grabbed his hand to find his vein. Then she took the syringe and with her delicate but firm fingers pressed the needle again his skin.

"_You may precede Nikola."_

_A pair of deep blue eyes was gazing him. In a moment he recognized the blonde curled woman waiting in front of him. Helen. He was holding a syringe filled with blood. Raising his gaze he met Helen's reassuring smile so he gently pressed the needle into her vein._

"_Nikola?"_

"Nikola?"

He shook his head and found himself in the hospital room again.

"Nikola, are you alright?" Helen asked concerned.

"Yes. I think I've just remembered something." He replied while his mind was struggling to understand the flashback he just had.

"What did you see?" She asked.

"You. I was about to inject you with something."

"_The Source Blood."_ Helen thought.

"What does it mean?" Nikola asked after a short moment of silence.

As much as she wanted to tell him, she knew that answering his question was not the best thing to do. Too much information at once could cause him a shock and his mind would reject it. He had to recover his memories gradually.

"It means…" She started, "…it means your memory is not permanently damaged and you're starting to recover." She smiled.

He raised an eyebrow still gazing her.

"I may have lost my memory but I can still tell when somebody is avoiding a question."

Helen started to explain,

"Before I answer your question, there are a lot of other things you should know. As a doctor and a friend, my first concern is your health, both physically and mentally. You have to get through this recovery step by step, to give your mind time for accommodation. That's why we'll have to start from scratch."

"Very well then." He nodded, "Let's start from scratch. You said we've known each other for years. Who am I?"


	2. Chapter 2

**As I promised here is chapter two, the last chapter of the story. Since I managed to upload it just before Christmas I want to wish you all Merry Christmas and a happy New Year :)**

**I know it's a bit OOC but I hope you'll forgive me since Nikola isn't exactly himself. [Plus, I felt the need to write something semi-angsty after the amount of gutter I enjoyed lately XD]. Enjoy the story and let me know what you think :)**

* * *

Nikola Tesla. That was his name. His first instinct when he realized he had lost his memory was to find out who he really was. He thought that once he will find out his name everything would become clear. But who was actually Nikola Tesla? And who was he now? His mind was struggling hard to remember but the effort was useless.

Helen had told him a few aspects of his life but he knew she was holding back on him. What was it that important about his life that he had to get used to gradually? A Serbian scientist who studied at Oxford and was part of a group of scientists called The Five. There she had stopped pretending she had to take care of an urgent matter. Her eyes however said something else. His life had nothing unusual so far. Why then did he have the feeling that there was so much more he had to know?

It was late so he decided to try to sleep. It had been an exhausting day. As he laid his head on the pillow vivid images started to play in his mind. Schemes, devices, faces, names, voices. They were fading away too fast for him to catch their essence.

..::..

Helen decided to check up on him one more time before heading to her bedroom. The next day she would have his blood analysis results so she was hoping the mystery around his unexpected amnesia would soon start to clear out.

As she stepped through the infirmary door she heard a moan as if someone was suffocating. She hurried to Nikola's bed and froze because of the sight in front of her. Nikola had his eyes wide open but his gaze was locked on a spot in the ceiling. He was struggling hard to breathe as if his lungs were rejecting the oxygen. His entire body was trembling. She placed her hand over his forehead which was burning hot.

"Nikola!" She called his name hoping to make him react. "Nikola, can you hear me?"

Suddenly he blinked and gazed her. He was breathing deep now that his lungs were welcoming the air.

"Nikola, are you alright?" She asked cupping his face.

"Helen?" He answered when he was sure he had enough strength and his voice wouldn't fade away. "What happened?"

"I believe you had a seizure." She replied. "Take it easy now. It's over. You're going to be fine."

"I saw things." Nikola said after a short moment of silence. "Things I would have rather not remembered."

"What did you see?" Helen asked with concern.

"The death of a child. A little boy. _Dane_. And there was pain and guilt. Who was he?"

Helen hesitated for a second before answering but she knew sooner or later he would remember.

"Your brother." She answered.

He felt like someone had burnt a hole in his chest.

"It was my fault wasn't it? He died because of me." Nikola said lowering his gaze.

"No Nikola. It was not your fault." She tried to comfort him. "It happened long time ago. There was nothing you could do."

"I don't blame you Helen for not wanting to tell me who I really am. For not allowing me to become the monster I really am."

"Monster? What are you talking about Nikola?" She asked.

"I caused my brother's death. But there was more. I saw long black nails, sharp teeth and dark eyes. And I felt the blood lust. Such a powerful blood lust. I saw you shooting me and running away." He stopped for a moment. "I don't want to get back to that. I don't want to remember. I don't want to be a monster."

Helen had never seen this vulnerable side of him. She couldn't stop wondering if that was really a part of him or just a new personality that had emerged as a result of the amnesia.

"Oh, Nikola!" She exclaimed. "You are not a monster."

Before realizing, she found herself encircling Nikola with her arms in an attempt to comfort him. He did not reject the embrace. More than this, he rested his head on Helen's shoulder and let out a long sigh. Her fingers were now rubbing his back. Even though his heartbeats got faster, Nikola was feeling safe somehow trapped in an embrace he wished it would never end.

"Nikola, what is this?" She asked when her fingers met a lump at the bottom of his neck just above the spine.

"Ouch." He exclaimed as her fingers explored the lump. "I don't know. I probably hit something when I collapsed to the ground."

In a moment everything was clear to Helen.

"Dear Lord! I think I've just found the reason of your amnesia."

..::..

"So what you're trying to say is that I have an insect inside me and it stops me from remembering things?" Nikola asked in disbelief.

"A scarab, yes, deeply imbedded in the muscles in the base of your brain.

"And you know that because…"

"Because the same thing happened to my father as well! Though in his case the scarab not only that it was blocking his memories but it was also controlling him. You don't seem to be affected by any form of control. Something must have gone wrong during the implantation process."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Nikola asked.

"I don't know yet. I'll know more once you'll be on the surgery table."

"Wait a second! Surgery?"

"Yes." She replied. "That's the only way we can remove the scarab and restore your memories."

"I am not having any surgery." He said.

"I know it's risky" she started, "but I've done this before. Aren't you at least curious to find out who you really are?"

"Yes. And no." He replied.

She gazed him surprised by his answer.

"What if I don't like the man I used to be? What if I've done things I don't want to remember?"

Even she could not completely understand the inner conflict he was experiencing, she could understand his struggle.

"You are a brilliant scientist. The world as we know it today wouldn't have been possible if it wasn't for you. Your gifts to the world changed everyone's life." She paused for a while then she continued, "And your friendship changed my life even more."

Their gazes locked for a moment as if scanning for the truth in each other's eyes.

"All that sounds wonderful but I- I can't..." He finally broke the silence.

"I understand." She said. "It's been a long day and everything must be very confusing for you. Try to get some rest and we'll talk again in the morning."

"Well then, good night." She said as she headed to the door.

"Good night." He replied in a whisper.

Nikola knew he would spend his night thinking. There were a lot of things he had to consider.

Half an hour later Helen sneaked into the infirmary. Pacing carefully not to wake him up, she placed a book on the bedside then she left the room quietly. The light coming from the lamp reflected the dark letters on the cover: "_My Inventions: The Autobiography of Nikola Tesla_".

..::..

The first hours of the morning found Nikola reading the last pages of his autobiography. When Helen entered the infirmary he was just placing the book back on the bedside.

"Good morning." She said. "How are you feeling today?"

"Confused." He answered.

"Nikola…" she started, "have you considered the surgery?"

"Yes." He replied.

A long moment of silence followed. None of them had the courage to speak out their thoughts. In the end, Helen broke the silence.

"I understand you are confused and maybe even afraid of having this surgery, but trust me had it been any other way I would have never suggested this. I'm afraid the scarab is messing with your nervous system. The blackout you had when you came here was its fault. Your health is in danger so I'm begging you think twice before giving me a definitive answer."

"_I can't afford to lose you Nikola_." Her mind completed her sentence.

"Very well." He replied. "I'll do it."

A smile brightened her face.

"What made you change your mind?" Helen asked surprised.

"Last night I found out a lot of things." He gazed the book on the bedside for a moment. "Some of them were the explanations I was looking for. Others confused me even more. But I have come to the conclusion that being Nikola Tesla can't be such a bad thing."

With a reassuring smile she took his hand in hers.

"I'll go to make the preparations then. The sooner the better."

When she was just about to leave Nikola called her name.

"Helen?"

She turned around waiting for his question.

"I may not remeber you but... I remember _feelings_. Have we two ever been…"

"No." She answered. "It's complicated."

"I see." He said with a wistful smile at the corner of his lips.

"We've been through a lot of things together. But just as very good friends."

She turned around and left the room thinking how powerful those feelings could've been if he could not remember his own name but remember them instead.

..::..

Three hours later he was pacing nervous to the surgery table.

"Don't worry." Helen tried to comfort him. "I'll do my best so everything goes well."

"I know." He answered.

"Before we start, I want you to have this." Nikola said and handed her the notebook she had given him to write down his thoughts. "If something goes wrong I'm afraid that's the only legacy I can leave you." He smiled cheekily.

"Don't even joke with that!" Helen replied. "You're not going anywhere anytime soon Mr. Tesla." She winked.

He sat on the surgery table and gently squeezed her hand before the procedure began. Somewhere inside he knew he trusted Helen.

..::..

When she paced to the infirmary to check on Nikola, as she has been doing for the last three days since his surgery, Helen was relieved to find him awake.

When he saw her, he held up a glass of wine and said,

"To the most skilled, beautiful and talented surgeon of the last two centuries."

Taking a sip of his wine he exclaimed,

"Mmm, I forgot how much I love wine."

Helen rolled her eyes and approached his bed.

"I'm glad to see you're back to being your usual self. Though I don't remember allowing you to drink wine. You just had a surgical intervention!"

He smirked taking another sip.

"Where did you find the wine anyway?" She asked.

"Helen, I think I remember pretty well where your wine cellar is." He replied as a wide grin grew on his face.

"So I take it your memory is back?"

"Pretty much so."

"Did you remember how the scarab was implanted to you?"

"I think so." He answered. "There was this secret organization, pretty much resembling to the Cabal. They caught me off guard and took me to one of their laboratories. They were hoping to obtain valuable information from me. But something went wrong and instead of controlling me, the scarab only blocked my memories. So when they saw I was useless they dumped me on the street knowing that it was just a matter of time until the scarab would kill me. Then everything becomes blurry. I must have been wandering the streets for a while until somehow I reached the Sanctuary. I still can't explain how I was able to find the way to this place. Perhaps my subconscious mind led me here. You know the rest."

"This organization might prove a threat to the Sanctuary network. I'll have to do some research." She said. "You can remain here if you want. I highly doubt they have the resources to lead an attack against the Sanctuary."

What was she doing? Was she actually asking him to stay?

"Helen." He said grabbing her hand. His blue steel eyes gazed her for a moment that seemed to have lasted a century. Then, as he lowered the shield around his heart he whispered a heartbreaking "_thank you_".

She smiled surprised to see the vulnerable side of him. He was not suffering from amnesia this time. It was really him the one that was holding her hand. And she was enjoying his touch.

"I'll have to think of a way to make up for everything." Nikola added.

"Just stay out of trouble." She replied.

"You know me better than that." He smirked while he approached her, his face only a few inches away from hers. "I think I have a better idea."

He slowly leaned in and brushed her lips with his own. She eagerly pulled him closer and bit his lower lip. Their tongues met in an unending duel while their hands closed the embraced and pressed their bodies together.

Helen finally realized how much Nikola really meant to her and how close of loosing him she had been.

**..::FIN::..**


End file.
